People are not always who you believe they are. They do not always have pure intentions, as you know you have. I understand why many get so guarded after being taken advantage of and trampled on… repeatedly. But, I WILL NOT LET THIS WORLD HARDEN MY HEART.
In such a short time so much can happen. Thankfully, I’m continually moving forward. I can no longer place expectations on other human beings or circumstances. It IS true what they say… time reveals all.
I’ve made a promise to myself through this all… I will love myself, MORE. Bare minimum is NOT better than nothing at all. I am a unique, once-in-a-lifetime soul. Which can be blessing and a curse. I only want to surround myself with those who can appreciate the passion I possess (for EVERYthing)… those that can’t appreciate all that I am can kick rocks. I deserve better. I deserve to value myself and have others value me. From here on out- I will not settle. I’ve come too far, experienced enough heartbreak to finally sit back and wait for, and work toward, everything that was meant for me.
Well, within the past two weeks I have checked out close to thirty, maybe even forty, books from the local library and blogging, coding, and everything in between… I know I haven’t managed to make this website much of anything yet… but I promise I am getting there!
Here’s my current arsenal of books… 25 total. So then I have probably neared borrowing 60 or 70 books thus far. Haha
Words will never begin to be enough to describe all my love for you. But just thinking of you makes me write this.
You are the one I love with all my might, the one I’m thinking of every night. The one that helps me make things right. The one I dream of when I sleep at night. The one I think of when I hug my pillow tight. The one I’ll never give up without putting up a fight.
I know I will never love another the way that I love you. I have thought at some moments in my past that I had experienced love.
But battered by life I came to you with all my heart. After all these years I still felt an irresistible attraction, an uncontrollable urge to be yours. I wanted you for myself, entirely, infinitely. I started to forget my wounds, and I merged into you. I desperately aspired to be the one that you wanted, just as I wanted you. Never before had I imagined that here on earth such a connection could exist. Never before, until you.
I’ve heard people say “I love you to the moon and back.” With you that statement doesn’t make sense. There and back doesn’t come close to explaining how much I love you. I love you so much more than that, just to the moon and back. I love you to the moon but further. I love you to the moon and back to infinity and beyond, forever and ever. I love you. To the moon and back, and around the stars, out of our galaxy, through the comets and the rings of far away planets. Riding on a rocket ship back down to earth to wherever you are.
This may be silly, cheesy, or cliche… but I wanted to write this for you…
I love you for giving your heart to me, and trusting me with your pride.
I love you for wanting me and needing me by your side.
I love you for the emotions I never knew I had.
I love you for making me smile whenever I feel sad.
I love you for your thoughts of me where I’m always on your mind.
I love you for finding that part of me that I never thought I’d find.
I love you for the way you are and for how you make me feel…
but most of all I love you cause I know what we have is real.
Goodness, my love, there is so much more I want to say to you. So if you’re reading this now… I hope that when I finish this entry… you’ll come back and read the rest. It’s getting late and my eyes are getting heavy. Just know, my love, you are the only one I want, the only one I think of, the only one that will make me feel this way.