You’ve landed on my personal online journal and creative outlet blog-type-thingy. First of all, let me tell you that I do not know anything about writing a blog. However… I have built several websites for previous employers as well as redesigned their existing sites. Helping others increase their website traffic and hearing them receive compliments on their website’s user-friendly navigation and customer-based options/information usually made me very proud… but I never received any credit. So I have long had an urge to design and develop my own website. Not for any particular reason… but solely because it’s another medium for me to creatively experiment. Now, you may not find anything of real “value” here, but my hope is that you will be entertained by some of the content I’ve chosen to share.
For the majority of my life I have been keeping actual, physical, handwritten journals. You will probably read it a few times throughout this website… but I am truly comforted by the feeling of a pen or pencil in my hand, a quality bound paper notebook on my lap, and the way the tip of my pen or pencil feels as it drags across the page. That, right there, is my therapy. Now… because most of the world has become digital, shares and stores their lives online, I feel it is my time to share my story through an “online journal” (because I really don’t like the word ‘blog’… it just sounds so… icky. haha).
I’ve been struggling for some time with the whole vunerability factor of sharing my life online. I’m not sure I want to share all of the nitty-gritty details that I write to myself typically. I had an experience where I had left my journal behind when I was transported to the hospital. The person I was living with at the time sent me a message questioning some of the material he would only have knowledge of if he had read my journal. I couldn’t believe the audacity this person had by crossing such a delicate line. By reading someone’s journal, their most personal thoughts and feelings, is comparable to being able to read someone’s mind. If we were meant to have this ability, God would have given us such a power. But he didn’t. I was bewildered. First by his selfish act of reading my journal, but then to question me about it. He only hurt himself by doing such a thing, but I can never trust this person again. Because he ”couldn’t help himself”. Ridiculous.
Once you publish it online… you can’t unpublish it. It stays there, well somewhere, out in cyber space.
I have slowly come around to the fact that sharing my story could somehow touch someone else’s life in one way or another. If they can just identify with it, realize that they are not alone, or at best gain some insight from the words that I place on these pages… it would all be worth it.