I’ve been writing the story of the ultimate downfall of my life, which slowly happened, bit-by-bit, piece-by-piece, after my divorce. It has been very therapeutic. While I have been working on writing it all down I’ve been remembering things that transpired throughout this period of my demise which I haven’t thought about in a while. Simple things that I can attribute to my personal life-bankruptcy and the going-out-of-emotional-business sale that followed. Although I realize these things are not solely to blame for the current state I am in, some of these things are in one way or another responsible for my depression, demolishing my self-confidence, and stealing my ambition.
Writing is one of my absolute favorite things to do. Especially since it is a form of therapy and self-reflexion for me. I would go crazy if I weren’t able to release my thoughts and feelings onto paper. I’m not the type of person who often verbalizes my inner-struggles, feelings, or personal battles. I don’t typically like the vulnerability it creates… but I especially don’t like feeling like I am burdening another person with conflicts I am facing. It’s not their problem, it’s mine… so I tend to keep them to myself. But writing them in my journal is a way of releasing them…
I plan to not only share this incredibly personal struggling period of my life and my reflection on the experiences and decisions that helped me to get here; but I will soon be posting my daily entries, just as they are, handwritten on the actual paper pages of my leather-bound journal. Because I am sorry, but I cannot get passed the feeling of actually holding a pen or pencil and dragging it across a page… and I blame my enjoyment in that feeling for causing me to neglect this site. Please accept my selfish-enjoyment apologies. 😉
